


we move like the ocean

by IcarusPendragon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e16 The Southern Raiders, F/M, One Shot, like maybe if you squint, oh look another TSR fic, sorta canon-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcarusPendragon/pseuds/IcarusPendragon
Summary: His home is a group of people who want to change the world. Who want to better it. Who want to better him. Who encourage him to be better. His home is now a campfire and a bedroll and a sky full of stars. His home is dark hair and defiance, a blue arrow and bubbly laughter, a warrior and a warm heart, a proud son and passion, a righteous daughter and radiance. His home is here, wherever they are.
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	we move like the ocean

Once the storm started, it didn’t stop and Zuko had a strong suspicion that it wouldn’t stop until the storm that was raging in Katara had run its course. 

They had been flying through the wind and rain and the torrent and torment of emotions for what felt like an eternity, a lifetime. He had made sure to give Katara her space, to allow her the room that she needed to think and process and grieve and he didn’t want to do anything that would upset her further, anything that would cross the line in the sand of their tentative peace. But he couldn’t stop thinking about when his mother disappeared and how all he had wanted was someone to be there. Someone to listen to him. Someone to ease his loneliness. 

After debating with himself on whether or not to reach out to her and finally deciding that the worst that could happen is for her to ignore him or to tell him to leave her alone, he pulls on Appa’s reins to guide them to a passing island. 

She doesn’t say anything when they land and he doesn’t expect her to. He wipes the rain away from his eyes and calls out to her. “We can’t keep going in this storm. It’s not safe.” 

She still does not respond, but she is looking at him, which Zuko thinks is a good thing. He steels himself and clears his throat so he can speak again. “Do you want to try and find some shelter? Give Appa a chance to rest?” She still doesn’t say anything out loud, but she does nod her head and moves to dismount. He looks at her intently as she does. Her face is coated in rain, so he can’t tell if she’s still crying, but her eyes are red and swollen and he doesn’t think it’s from the cold. 

They make their way up the shore a little, coming to a stop when he finds an overhang of rocks with blissfully dry sand underneath. She places herself slowly and gently into the sand with her back to him, directing her attention to the dark ocean waves. He busies himself with finding kindling for a fire so they can both try and warm up a little when he notices the small trembles escaping from her body. Once the fire is lit and going he sits down beside her. 

He watches her for a moment, long enough to see a tear slide down her face. He wants to wipe it away. Wants to wipe all of her pain away. Instead, he turns his attention to the sea.

He will not push. He will not press. He will give her the time that she needs and deserves. He will not force her hand. He will be there for her, right here, whenever she is ready. If she is ready. 

Even in the storm, even in the chaos. The ocean is beautiful. It is raw and powerful and deadly, yet not violent. Not vengeful. It moves and shifts and breaks with intention as if driven by and from a higher being. A higher purpose. He had never spent much time thinking about the ocean and all of its waves before. He just saw it as another obstacle. Another prison. Yet another thing keeping him from home.  _ Home _ . Those thoughts make him want to laugh now. Just like many other things, he had been so wrong. 

His home changed when his mother left. It became a prison. And his home is changing now, once again. His hearth and heart may be in the Fire Nation, but his home is next to him. Part of his home, at least. His home is a group of people who want to change the world. Who want to better it. Who want to better him. Who encourage him to be better. His home is now a campfire and a bedroll and a sky full of stars. His home is dark hair and defiance, a blue arrow and bubbly laughter, a warrior and a warm heart, a proud son and passion, a righteous daughter and radiance. His home is here, wherever they are. 

He steals another glance at her and sees that the tears have not yet stopped. He won’t try to make her talk, but he will try. He will try and further their tentative peace. 

“When I was younger, my mother was my best friend. I never had to prove myself to her. I never had to compete for her. Not like with Azula or my father. When I was with her, I was just able to exist. I wasn’t a failure to her. She used to tell me stories and take me to feed the turtleducks and take me to plays. She made me feel warm and safe and when she disappeared, it felt like the sun did, too.” 

He takes a moment to close his eyes and remember. To remember the warm glow that his mother cast wherever she went. 

“After she disappeared and I realized that she wasn’t coming back, I did everything I could to try and make my father love me the way that she loved me, the way that I thought he loved Azula. I missed the warmth that she gave me and thought that he could be the one to give it to me. The only warmth he ever gave me was from fire. My father burned me. He set me on fire to keep himself warm. He burned me and banished me.” 

At some point, Katara had turned her head to look at him, but he can’t meet her eyes. 

He takes a deep breath and surges forward. “For so long, I thought that my mother was the only one who could have that kind of warmth. That kind of love. And for so long I was angry. Angry at myself and at her and at my father and at the world. But I’m done being angry now. I’m done being cold.” 

He finally turns to look at her only to find more tears falling from her eyes and on her cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something, to say anything, to apologize for whatever misstep he has made now, but she beats him to it. 

“Your father is the one that burned you?” She asks in a tearful voice. And suddenly he’s back under Ba Sing Se. The ghost of her fingertips still lingering on his scar, still seeing and feeling and burning every part of him. 

“Uh, yeah.” He manages to cough out. “I um, I thought it was common knowledge. It’s not like he tried to hide it,” he says averting his gaze to the sand at his feet. 

“Zuko,” she says, and for the first time maybe ever, there is no malice, no vitriol, but also no pity. Just sadness. 

He realizes that this is the first time he’s ever admitted out loud, ever spoke the words, ever told another person what his father had done to him. 

“I saw him, on the day of black sun I confronted him. I told him what he did was cruel and wrong. That was the first time I ever stood up to him. And he shot lightning at me. I shot it back at him, but I missed. I missed him and felt like such a coward because of it. He’s hurt me and my mother and the entire world but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I thought leaving him alive was the most cowardly thing that I’d ever done, but I know now that was wrong. That I was wrong.” 

He finds the strength to meet her eyes again and finds no new tears, just the gentle gaze that she uses to look at the rest of their group with. 

“‘Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.’ That’s what my mom used to tell me when I was a kid. And I never understood what she meant. Not until now.”  _ Not until you _ is what he wants to say but doesn’t. 

“Why now?” Katara asks. 

He takes a moment to compose his answer. To figure out the best way to translate his thoughts and emotions into words. He doesn’t want to lie to her, not anymore. She doesn’t deserve that. 

“To be honest, it’s because of you.” He says, trying to maintain eye contact. 

“Me?” 

“You have every reason to be angry. Every reason to be hard. To hate. To be bitter. But you’re not. You’re kind and caring and compassionate. And even when you are angry, you’re angry because you care. You’re not angry at the world at large, you’re not bitter even though you have every reason and every right to be. You’re just good. You’re--” he says faltering, not sure if he should continue. But her eyes look hopeful and not sad for the first time since they left Yon Rha so he decides to press on. 

“You’re everything I want to be. Everything I wanted to be for so long.” 

Silence fills the air and the space between them and Zuko is worried that he said too much, that he overstepped a line, that he has shattered their makeshift truce. 

“You think I’m good?” she whispers. “Even after everything you’ve seen me do?” 

Instantly his mind is filled with the image of the soldier being twisted and turned at her hands, by her will. 

“Yeah. I think you’re good. I know you’re good. You’re the best person I know.” He tells her, not to make her feel better, but because it’s the truth. 

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. 

Zuko gives her a moment and turns his focus back to the sea. The rain has subsided significantly and the waves are no longer turbulent. 

When she opens her eyes again, they’re more peaceful. He can see the storm is almost passed. He stands and tentatively offers her his hand. She stares at it for a moment before meeting his eyes and taking it. He’s surprised at its warmth. Taken aback by how soft it is. How strong it is. How strong she is. He helps her up and gives it a gentle squeeze before letting it go. 

He extinguishes the fire and turns to head back towards Appa. 

Katara calls his name and he stops, turning around to look at her. 

“Thank you.” She says, the smallest of smiles resting on the corners of her lips. 

He offers her a small smile back before they both start walking. 

_ Soon enough _ , he thinks,  _ soon enough we’ll be home _ . 

  
  



End file.
